Dumb Memories

The past...

I like telling funny stories from my past when I remember them. I'm usually fairly stupid, to be honest. If you were to ask me to tell a story from my childhood I would blank immediately. (That... is just stupidity and definitely not a cause for concern right...?)

Some stories will be NSFW.

What does the worst meme say?

I remember someone came up to me once, back in 2013, and asked me "What does the fox say?"

I didn't know about the meme.

So I just screamed.

It didn't go over well.

I was right though.

Why you don't plagerize.

Alternatively "Why you don't let SOMEONE ELSE plagerize for you"

In 8th grade (age 13/14 for refernce) we did the usual project on drugs. I THINK my assignment was on LSD if you're curious but this story is about another group's report. Namely, who I will call, A, G and Z.

2/3s of this group were massive assholes which explains a lot, but I wasn't prepared for the gloriously trashy trainwreck of their "essay".

The lights in the classroom were out, I don't know why. The three of them get up at the front of the class (they may have taken turns, I don't remember), and Z takes the paper and begins to read. It becomes apearant very quickly that their essay was not written by them, both from how it was written and the fact that Z was stumbling over his words.

And then Z begins going on a very VERY detailed decription of how you do crack. This was in a time on the internet where it was difficult, at least for a 13 year old, to find this kind of information; you probably had to know where it was in the first place. I have no idea where they got this, but they CTRL+C CTRL+V'd a whole web page without looking.

Z let out, through some laughter, "Where did you get this?" and the teacher stopped them and took them out to the hall, presumably to ask them what the fuck.

Bonus: G the same year unironically did a music asignment on Drowning Pool's Let the Bodies Hit The Floor. This is what we're dealing with. Imagine my raction when this song became a meme 10 years later lol.

Crazy Frog is a thing.

Okay. Everyone knows who this fucker is. No introduction needed.

The year is 2005. I'm 9 years old.

It's... some time during the summer I think, and i'm sitting in the living room watching what was either Teletoon or YTV, when this thing comes on my screen. Why? I don't know. I remember some weird things on these channels around this time so I didn't ask questions. I don't remember which cover it was. I thought it was Axel F but it doen't have what I'm talking about.(NOPE! See update!) I do know I remember the following vividly.

I, a good christian child watching innocent cartoons on summer after noon notices something.

Motherfucker has his cock out.

Middle of the day, children's channel, and there's a 3d modeled mascot abomination's penis on my screen.

I thought I was seeing things.

"No." I thought to my self "That's not a penis. That can't be"

And so through the power of denial I went on my innocent way. Not actually a dick. We're all good.

Until the next day when the MV aired again...

...with a black box over his privates.